In Love?

March 2, 1892
Dear Diary,
Today I fell in love.


These words compelled me to pick up this small gold-rimmed book from one of the shelves while roaming around in Borders the other day. But, these words were also the reason for me to put it down on the shelf after two seconds.

I wonder if we really know when we fall in love. How can the writer or the character be so sure of the exact time and date when she fell in love? Is it so easy to describe the most complex feeling one has in just two short words? You can't just get up one day and decide that you are in love or you are going to be in love. It just doesn’t work that way.

This is the biggest dilemma of the young adults of our age. We so badly want to associate with someone that we usually force ourselves to either fall in love with someone or to deceive ourselves in believing that we are in love with a particular person.

Falling in love or being in love is one’s life’s most important decision and experience. Usually life revolves around it—we revolve around that person. Why are we so hasty in making the most important decision of our lives? Why the first person who shows some care is the person we decide to spend our lives with? I do understand that it is hard to resist the care and kindness but we need to keep in mind that the consideration one is offering you might not be for forever. We need to understand that probably the other person is not as emotionally involved as we are.

A good relationship is the one in which both partners/spouses bring the best out of each other. A good relation is the one in which you not only have fun but you know (notice it's not “think”, it's "Know") you can count on one another for support. A relation where you can be a complete and total mess but the other is still willing to accept you and love you.

Do you see yourself pretending in front of your partner? Do you feel pressurized into doing something that you don’t really feel like doing? It can be something as simple as watching a particular type of movie or staying up late at night. Do you, at times feel that you are overly criticized or overly praised? Do you question their or your own credibility? Do you feel afraid that they will probably cheat on you if they had a chance? Do you think you can't be yourself in front of your partner most of the times? Have you faced certain times when you were not able to count on them or you didn’t feel comfortable doing so? If you answered YES to even one of these questions then let me tell you that there is something seriously WRONG with the relationship you are in.

Half of the time we know exactly how the other feels about us but we deceive ourselves into believing that everything is going well. Half the couples that I see breaking up, they will confess at one point or another that they knew for a long time that things were not going well.

Why are you so afraid? Is that person the only person who will ever love you? Are you afraid that you will never find love again? Is your self esteem so low that you are willing to put up with someone who really doesn’t care about you? The person who has left you when you needed them the most or worse yet, left you for someone else and you are still crying over it? Why are you so pathetic? I am not willing to cry over people who have treated me badly and neither am I going to stick around in a relationship which doesn’t give both of us happiness. The ultimate goal of life is Happiness. We are with a person because he makes us happy and because we make them happy; if you are not happy there is no point. It's better to live alone and free than put up with an idiot for the rest of your life.

…And love, I've come to understand, is more than three words mumbled before bedtime. Love is sustained by action, a pattern of devotion in the things we do for each other every day. It is not a NEED. It is not a WANT. It should never be those things. I am sure we all are better than that.

Stop. Think. Evaluate.
It's about time you do or you will cry for the rest of your life.

-Raajii.blogspot

Dancers In The Dark

I gazed silently at those nimble pair of legs which moved in haste. A few steps forward, then a quick flip. A moment later, bending on the gravelly surface and writhing back and forth through a hoopla, without so much as to touch it. Pushing it aside the next moment, sprinting forward and taking a gravity defying somersault again. A young girl of the same age, fidgeted nearby, playing a small dhol tied to her neck and singing to the tunes of popular bollywood numbers. Another kid belonging to the same clan looked on, waiting for his turn next. I felt as if every single act of theirs, was smeared in a monotonous semblance. But then, it was their conditioning which blurred such an axiomatic display to a large extent. Helplessly I watched, however trying not to, at times. A sight as such made me dwell earnestly on the cruelties meted out to such pitiable young souls, clinging to a parallel world soaked in abject poverty and hopelessness.

It was a difficult sight to construe. Disturbing. Deplorable. In the subcontinent, this is considered quite a 'normal' occurrence to all and sundry. A performance as such by those hapless youngsters, most of them below five, held the multitude in awe. Heartless souls around had completely obscured themselves from this impregnable truth with such repose as it pushed me towards the brink of stark disappointment. My quaint thoughts jittered on the rickety borders of hesitation but I looked on, shamelessly. Something changed inside me at that very instant. What I saw, nudged my soul and struck a deep chord inside me. I glanced around making a frantic search for their parents. But none were in sight. Those kids were all alone. On their own. None to hold their hand and guide them the along the right path. None to care. None to shower love. These little angels had nowhere to go. They knew not what stuff dreams were conjured of and savoring them unlike kids of similar age who were fortunate enough. They knew not what it meant to go to school, to learn, to play with toys and develop into educated beings. Made to gyrate to vicious rhythms of impoverishment along a tumultuous path of despair and desolation. They were born humans but now, with each passing day, they were being stripped of this so called 'gift'. Let loose in a cruel world, devoid of love, guidance and protection, showered so lavishly on other children of their age. Let loose to align themselves on their own and make sense out of the chaos and the bedlam prevalent in our cruel society. Such an age to eke out a living, for their family, for themselves? A family strung together by nothing but hopelessness and despair? The truth held me in a trance. It was weird. Every second, I tried to make more sense out of it. I faltered many a time. But I tried.

The crowd was growing impatient with each passing second. I knew why. The more they looked at the proceedings, the more they reveled in a mellowed act of derision. But to me such a mockery, rather being directed towards those poor souls, seemed more to be directed towards the system. The system which has sprouted such a sordid state of affairs for the little ones. A system where the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Whatever happened to those much touted welfare programmes for the needy, those so called 'honest' efforts to educate the poor children and tall claims to restructure their lives? Mere words scribbled in government files left to rot in dusty shelves? Hollow promises made by the inept bureaucracy? How true. Humanity, chucked into oblivion, lost forever...never to be found.

A soft tug at my hands, made me break away from the trance. Her fatigued eyes, amidst her soiled face and disheveled hair, yearned to say something. But all she could do was unfold her palm and implore for money. The next instant, as soon as I had handed her a five rupee note, she flitted to the person next to me only to be dissed aside. I turned around to see the other kids penetrating the crowd and approaching people for money. Some chipped in a few pennies, some stoically ignored their innocent overture.

But soon, time ran out. I saw the light flash green ahead. People around made a dash forward, in a state of tizzy as they have always been accustomed to, amidst horns blaring and vehicular pandemonium. Those three fragile minutes seemed like eternity. But something stayed with me. That silent impeccable look in the girl's eyes which silhouetted her dreary fragmented existence. A pinch of hope in a cauldron of overflowing despair that made her endure her pains and trudge ahead in life. In that fleeting instance, I realized I needed to break the mould and do something for such poor children. A honest attempt to alleviate their misery and try to make them realize that even they are entitled to what we 'humans' take for granted day in and day out. Penning my thoughts here is a minuscule step taken to highlight such an overlooked scenario dominating all around us. God might smile at such a novel endeavor, supposedly. But I, for one, care less about what He thinks. A mission lies ahead of me. Fulfilling a drive to bring a smile on the faces of these children. After all, it's my pursuit to restore that bit of happiness in their lives, in all the ways I possibly can.

“Come little one, come along

To the land where you belong

Fear not, smile my friend

With us, you shall blend”