Wednesday, May 21, 2008

I Love The Ride!

Jacaranda trees in bloom, a shy lavender canopy…

Two children in slightly tattered clothes running by the side of the road, carefree and fearless- embodiment of a feeling of pure joy…

A broad stretch of tarmac upon which the wheels glide (Well, mostly) and a feeling of floating on…

A Wildcraft showroom with a multifarious window display and a reminder of my wild side, a passing flash of all my dreams for the road…

A view of the placid waters of a lake, ducks, geese and grebes swimming calmly oblivious to the rush on the busy road, a sudden sense of calm and a smile…

A Gulmohar tree in a boisterous orange bloom, unable to contain itself, pouring its joy out to a multitude that is too busy and too rushed to notice…a grin…how can it be so happy?!

Majestic Brahminy Kites decorating the skyline with their splendour, a graceful swoop and then a soar, a circle with wings outstretched, sheer beauty and another smile…

A peek at the many pots-and-plant sellers by the roadside, the soothing green…another glance at the gallimaufry of the earthen-ware seller up the road, the colours, the feeling of elation and wonder, of relaxation even amidst the rush…the irony…

A tree-lined road and the sunlight filtering through…the expanse of green and a mud path lit up by the warmly bright sun…a lone dog capering down that road…a wish to join it and caper along…

A milestone on the road…wait...its an idol…and the vehicles are carefully veering around it and continuing on their way…an unclaimed deity pitched on a busy road with no temple to shelter the protector; then again maybe not that uncared for, it has flowers at its feet…a strong urge to take its picture, the photographer in me disappointed by the hurry…and a thought – there are times when people avoid God too…

Songs in my ears…the beat and the melody…oblivion from all the honking and screeching around…my heart jiving along…all my favourite songs…a feeling of pure ecstasy!

With such sights and sounds, I could never hate going to work. The road that stays the same yet changes everyday like a movie that you’ve seen before but presents a different perspective the next time you see it…the music that fits every frame…even amidst all the pollution, noise and the sour faces that I have to drive through on my way to work everyday…I Love The Ride!

Sunday, May 18, 2008

One night @ an IT Company

''At the stroke of the midnight hour, when half of the world was in slumbers, i noticed a well lit bay with a few software engineers slogging it out to clear the release date well in time....“, these are but day to day occurances in an IT Services company in India. Its night 12.50 AM, and I am still staring dumbly at this dumb computer screen wondering when would the ordeal end and I would go home and hit the sack, to be back in the morning and burn another day....

Its the not the work thats killing me but the time it takes to put in the stuff I churned out into the testing machine, in essence its a two minute job but following the right processes its already 14 hours since I started working on this transition but have no idea when the Tech support people would do my work.

Of course being at the bottom of hierarchy means that my work no matter how important it is, is still down in priority...I wonder whats the purpose of my working so late, when the end consumer would never even know and neither would he bother as to who created all the tools he/she is using for her/his seems so inconsequential. Its like being an unknown force working for those who would never know you....Thats life, and thats work for me, I do it everyday for a living....

Thursday, May 15, 2008

The Office

9:30 AM. A 'normal' day at work. In one corner of the office, it's Man vs. Machine.

Samir: Oh NO! Not again! Why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam?!! I, I swear to God, one of these days, I, I, I just kick this piece of shit out of the window!!!

Michael looks up.

Michael: You and me both, man. The thing is lucky I'm not armed.

Samir grabs the paper out, tearing off the bottom part of it.

Samir: Damn! P-i-e-c-e of shit!!!

Nina, the local admin, saunters in carrying a stack of papers.

Nina: Sam...ire...Na...Na...Naga...

Samir gets it.

Nina: Uh-huh!

Samir: Please <gives a disgruntled look>

He sits in his and Michael's cubicle.

Nina: Michael.... - <Michael reaches for it> Bolton?

Michael: That's me.

Nina: WOW! Is that your real name?

Michael: Yeah.

Nina: So are you related to the singer guy?

Michael: No. No. it's just a coincidence.

Samir: How come no one in this country can pronounce my name right? It's Na-gee-een-ah-jah. Nagaenajar.

Michael: At least your name isn't Michael Bolton.

Samir: C'mon Michael, there's nothing wrong with that name.

Michael: There was nothing wrong with it! Until I was about nine years old and that no-talent assclown became famous and started winning Grammys.

Samir: Well, why don't just go by Mike, instead of Michael?

Michael: <'loud' whisper> WHY THE F*** SHOULD I CHANGE IT? HE'S THE ONE WHO SUCKS!!!

Peter comes up to their cubicle.

Peter: Hey Guys!

Michael: Yo! what's up man?

Peter: Let's get some coffee?

Samir: It's a little early...

Peter: I gotta get out of here. I think I'm gonna lose it.

Nina: Uh oh. <giggles> Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays!

Peter: Boy. I tell ya, one of these days... One of these days it's gonna be like...

He mimics a machine gun. Brian, a colleague from the Testing Team, does it too. In Peter's face.

Brian: <walks by> Oh. Sounds like a case of the Mondays!

Peter: <glancing around> That knucklehead's gonna have me work on Saturday too. I, I can tell already. I'm doing it because, because, uh, I'm a big pussy. Which is why I work here to begin with <shakes his head in despair>

Michael: Uh, I work here and I don't consider myself a pussy, ok?

Samir: Yup, I concur. Me no pussy either.

Michael: I'm gonna find out the hard way that I'm not a pussy if they don't start treating us techies better.

Samir: That's right.

Michael: They don't understand! I could come up with a program that could rip this place off big time…BIG BIG time.

Peter: Yeah.

Tom, another employee, runs towards Samir, Peter and Michael.

Tom: Hey! Hey, guys! Samir!!

Samir: Is that Tom Smykowski?

Peter: What's he doing?

Michael: Oh, probably working on another heart attack!

Tom: Have you guys seen this?

He hands them a piece of paper.

Michael: What? It's the staff meeting. So what, dude?

Tom: We're all screwed, that's what! They're gonna downsize this company.

Samir: Oh, what are you talking about Tom? How do you know that?

Tom: They're bringing in a consultant - that's how I know. That's what this staff meeting is all about! That's what happened at the other company a few months back. You have an interview with a consultant and they bring in efficiency experts. You're interviewing for your own job, man!!!

Michael: Tom, every week you say you're losing your job and you're still here...

Tom: <dejected look> I'm going to be the first one they're gonna lay off. Just the thought of having to go to the State Unemployment Office and having to stand in line with those scumbags!!!

The group gathers in Michael and Samir's cubicle, after a while. They sit there, worrying.

Michael: Shit. Shit!

Tom: You know there are people in this world who don't have to put up with all this shit? Like that guy that invented the pet rock. You see, that's what you have to do. You have to use your mind and come up with some really great idea like that and you never have to work again!

MIchael: I don't think the pet rock was really such a good idea.

Tom: Dude, the guy made a million dollars! Y'know… I had an idea like that once.

Peter: Really? What was it, Tom?

Tom: Well, all right. It was a Jump-to-Conclusions-mat. You see, it would be this mat that you would put on the floor and it would have different conclusions written on it that you could…jump to.

Michael: That is the worse idea I've ever heard in my life, Tom!

Samir: Yes, yes, it's horrible…this idea….

Tom: Ah, look. I, I gotta get outta here. I'll see you guys later, if I still have a job.

He goes to his cubicle.

Peter: I remember, our high school guidance counselor used to ask us what we would do if we had a million dollars and didn't have to work. And invariably, whatever we would say, that was supposed to be our careers. If you wanted to build cars, then you're supposed to be an auto mechanic.

Samir: So what did you say?

Peter: I didn't have an answer. I guess that's why I'm working here as a techie.

Michael: No, you're working here because that question is bullshit to begin with <the printer makes a whirring noise and stops working>. If that quiz worked, there would be no janitors, because no one would clean shit up if they had a million dollars.

Samir: Well, I would invest half of it in...ummm ??? Mutual Funds. And donate the rest to some charity.

Michael: Samir, the point of the exercise is that you could figure out what you want to do. And then…<reads the printer's display> "PC load letter"?!! What the F*** does that mean?!!!

He knocks off the paper tray.

Peter: <addressing Michael> Chill dude, so what would you do if you had a million dollars?

Michael sits down.

Michael: I'll tell you what I'll do, man--Two chicks at the same time!

Peter & Samir snicker off.

Peter: That's it? If you had a million dollars, that's what you'd do...two chicks at the same time, huh?

Michael: Damn straight, man. I've always wanted to do that. I figure if I were a millionaire, I could hook that up. Chicks dig guys with money.

Samir: Well not all chicks...

Michael: Well, the type that double up on a guy like me do.

Peter: Good point!


Peter: Besides two chicks at the same time?

Michael: Oh yeah.

Peter: Nothing.

Michael: Nothing, huh?

Peter: I would relax, I would sit on my ass all day, I would do nothing.

Michael: You don't need a million dollars to do nothing, man. Take a look at my cousin. He's broke and he don't do shit.

Peter: Hmmm...<glances at his watch> Shucks! Its 11 already...damn! need to finish that last bit of coding and make those reports.

Samir: <staring at his flooded mail box> Phew whew!

Michael: Adios Amigo.

Peter: Aight guys...catch u at lunch...bye.

The printer starts working again.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Just Another Day

"Drrrriiinnnggg!!!" (Oooops sorry,its-) "Beep beep ! Beep beep ! Beep beee..!" Shut UP !!!-and you thunk the alarm to silence.Good Morning !
The morning light reminds you of the bright sun,dew laden leaves,chirping birds and finally the face that you will never forget your whole life-your BOSS !
You drag yourself to the edge of your bed with the blanket still clinging on to you.You then suddenly remember that you work in a office and they know your address!You throw the blanket and leave the only accessory de` luxury that you possess-your Kurl-On pillow. Your eyes fail you,so you rub the sleep off them so that you could find your way to the room where you could flush out the shit that somehow got into and around you the last day.You look into the mirror and a strange face gives you an even stranger looking frown.You ignore that stupid face and bend over the porcelain bowl to wash off the reminiscent of your dreams.After exercising your bowels and exorcising over your wicked thoughts that you have for your job you cover yourself with lather.Hands mechanically turn the shower,you shiver and hope that someday U.S. will develop a gadget that will purge you like a dish washer.
You then slide yourself into your "costumes" that would make you look more like a dignified slave.Nose lifts and lips twist into a scowl as you smell your hardwork fume from beneath your armpit like ether.Sweat.Solution-30 seconds deodorant bath.
Breakfast ! The word sounds so good.You dream of toast,omelet-sunny side up,juice,fruit salad and a glass of Bournvita ;-) while your fingers work their way through a packet of Parle G that you literally slurp down your throat after dipping it deep in a cuppa cutting chai from Babu bhai ki dukan.
You drag your feet to the bus stop and then hope that your feet drag you to your office at the right time.SCREEECH ! The monstrous steely cart on wheels stops and you read the bus number at least three times to make sure that it will wheel you to your place of slavery.The moment you step into the bus,you remember the hardships of your dhobi and feel pity-you find a dozen bodies rub against yours and you take the best of your measures to avoid unwanted contacts and intimacy with your anatomy(I can't go in detail,please).Somehow you manage to fit yourself in the crowded bus and your body acquires the state of perfect stability-you cannot move an inch.Then like a hapless onlooker you watch your silk shirt turn into a crumbled paper.All that deodorant you had sprayed just vanishes in thin air and the stink of sweat and belch fill your nose;you start guessing what the person standing to the right had in breakfast or was it the dinner?So much for the AXE effect !
The bus inches through the road which look like a large drainage with metallic debris floating through it.A lot of "Excuse me!" s are spit on your face (as people want you to move your body out of their way)at every stop and you patiently wait for your turn to spit the same on someone.The conductor pierces your ears with the "Tickisss!" cry and you hope if you could free at least one your hands stuck somewhere between the backpack of some uncleji and belly of some bhaiyya ji who in their ignorance keep crushing your hand between themselves.Somehow you manage to take your hand out of that seemingly unescapable trap and pay the conductor the change coins that you save everyday just for that.

Finally,your stop comes.But before you say "Excuse me !" the person standing in front you excuses himself off the bus.Then you get off the bus and rush to that person coz you have seen his tag/IDcard(it slowly takes the place of your a birthmark!)and it has your company's name on it.And when you finally face the person,the familiar face that shatters your early morning dreams gets reflected in your eyes.
"Arre Tapas !You too.My car broke down .Chal ! I have some work for you."
You curse your fate and mutter-"Yes Sir !"

Friday, May 9, 2008

Is Work Worshipped?

Work is ………worship???

Wife and Mother: I work in office, return home exhausted, cook food for everyone, serve with a smiling face, encourage and support my husband for his work, help my children with their homework, teach them good lessons of life and make their future bright in the best possible way I can, its worship to me when I get a few smiles in return, some words of appreciation encouragement and love.

Husband and Father: I work hard and long hours at office; I keep my wife and children happy, take them out even when I need rest, fulfill all their desires and wishes, its worship to me if they say appreciate me for working hard and respect me for what I give them instead of thinking what I can’t.

Children: To me work is studying too hard, helping mom in her daily chores and pressing my father’s head when he needs it, its worship to me when my parents don’t yell at me if I fail to be a topper, they don’t compare me with others, love me for what I am rather than what they want me to be.

Grandparents: We live alone and are old. Work to us is cooking food everyday together, helping each other with daily chores and looking after our grandchildren with dying energy but lively hearts, its worship to us when we hear a few words of love, we get the respect which we earned and unforced and true concern from our children.

God: My Beloved children, work won’t seem work but pure worship, if your heart is filled with love for each other.

Work is …….worship???